


Daily life of Elliot Alderson

by virnnich



Category: Jessica Jones (TV), Mr. Robot (TV)
Genre: Happy Birthday, Starbucks, selfie stick, vanilla latte, witness me
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-09-14
Updated: 2015-12-15
Packaged: 2018-04-20 18:42:11
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 1,886
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4798271
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/virnnich/pseuds/virnnich
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He gets mad. He has a birthday. He goes to the pub. He dreams.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Nervous Breakdown

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Elliot is nervous breakdown. He decided to get a selfie stick and vanilla latte

Today is the day, the day I'm going to fuck off, fuck fucking society. I'm so done. No more Mr. Robot. No more finding Tyrell Wellick. He could be anywhere he wanted to. Evil corp doesn't matter anymore. It already went down. Why should I care.

First I need to steel a car, pump up nitro then I'll delete myself and run away into the sunset. Before that, I need to get a cup of vanilla latte and a selfie stick. Don't judge me. I know what you are thinking. I'm taking this journey alone. How the hell can I take a photo of myself with my car. What's taken is taken. It's my car, deal with it.

In order to make sure I'm not going back to this fucking city. After I get the car, I'm going to take off all of my clothes from the front door of my flat all the way down to Starbucks. Witness me you idiot New Yorker. Steve Jobs is waiting for me in hell.

Now, let's do it.

\---------

I was just opening my flat front door and my incredible plan was going into dust. Darlene and Krista was waiting for me. That bitches. Why can't they just leave me alone. Okay I know I shouldn't talking about them like that but they gave me pills and now I'm back to myself. Why can't she just not let me be happy with my Starbucks coffee and a selfie stick. Everything I planned starting to look bullshit. This world is looking miserable like it used to be.

Dear Tyrell, If I ever found you, go thank them.


	2. Hey Siri, what day is today

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Today is 17th September 2015!  
> Today is Thursday!  
> Today is Elliot Alderson birthday!

My lower back hurts. I'm sitting on this chair for too long. I just deleted someone on my computer. Now he is Nickelback. I hate this guy so much I couldn't name him some nice band. Just looking at the CDs reminds me of his stupid expression on his stupid face and hurts my back more. 

There's a good part of being junkie, I don't have to worry about my back pain. Why would I need Ibruprofen when I have Morphine regularly. Is that why I choose Morphine or because I don't wanna add ulcers into the lists? I can't remember man. As soon as I get my proper dose I start to lay down on the couch then there's a knocking on the front door. I choose to ignore it but they don't let me and the cell's ringing in the same time. Hell, why don't you guys just let me get high with myself. Now someone starts to bark something. Is that Flipper out there? Isn't he sitting right next to me? Fine. You won. I'm opening the front door. Then everything start to look so colourful and noisy. Small group of people are pouring into my room. Isn't that Angela dressed as a Disney princess that build a castle by stomping her feet. But WHY Darlene is Harley Quinn. SHE'S SUPPOSE TO BE THE JOKER. 

They're singing a song. I know this song. I'm trying my friend don't press me into this.  
.  
.  
.  
.  
Shit.  
Today is my birthday. 

I shouldn't let them in. Party means more anxiety but it's too late. Let's get more Morphine and chill.


	3. Under the green light

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's Halloween day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it's too soon. I just can't help.

Today is Saturday but I'm not gonna go anywhere. It's that day people go nuts in the street, children ask for sweet and adults officially lost their mind wearing something from the other side of their wardrobes, perfect day and night to stay at home.

I'm hacking this guy. He own some mediocre annoying pub in Bensalem but something doesn't right. There's an invalid data scratching this side of my mind. 

Shit. I found it. 

In a next few minute we will know is he gonna ruin my day. I have a strong conviction to stay at home. If he's interesting enough to dig me out of this room then he's ruining it. 

\-------

Okay. He's ruined it. Now I'm in front of his pub. Thanks universe I managed to get here without getting in any trouble (and by trouble I mean the T/T words). The pub looks like a haunted house for someone with anxiety. EDM music are like the sound of poltergeist screaming. I see colourful light flashing all over the walk way lead to underground floor. 

I breathe. Now I'm entering this abyss which is getting weird with too much green light. I can't focus what the host says. I think I have sensory overload. So many people dressed in weird costume. Why is that guy has bread sticks and carrying a purse. Shit. Am I in some kind of tumblr party? The host is saying something I still can't focus but people are dragging me on the stage. 

"And the best costume goes to......PEPE THE FROG!!!!!"

 

 

I'm so done. I don't care about the pub owner anymore. He's going to be deleted from my computer and become John Cena. 

I'm straight outta this pub.


	4. Lucid dream

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Elliot can't sleep but in the end he has a lucid dream.

How can people go to sleep so easily? Why are their minds can dip in the silence of the deepest lake and just sink in? Don't they have that flurry infinite road with millions of wheels passing by with drivers shouting what they think at the same time? I just can't. Binaries are pouring out of my eyes builded up into a palace of my mind. All the worst ideas of this world become so real and come up with the as bad solution as the problems. How can you just ignore that, my only friend, my imaginary friend? My subconscious, you might already know him, Mr. Robot, was not helping me out of this abyss. If I don't let go of this monster that born to kill the evil, how can I truly protect them? 

\-----

Elliot doesn't know when did he fall asleep. He just wake up in the middle of Time Square. People are bustling all over him. His heart is racing just like every time he happens to be in this situation. He hates himself of being panic more than the cause of panicking itself. Then his hands are shaking more and it becomes the nightmare cycle.

I need to calm down. 

How the hell I get here? I was finding the solution for saving Tyrell. I'm going to check at his house.  
Fuck. Why can't you guys be quiet for a minute. EVERYONE OF YOU.

I need to think. "Are you sure you haven't been to his house" said Mr. Robot, or Dad, whatever.

Everyone's disappeared, except this man standing in front of him.  
Clouds are made from binary. Trees are turning up side down, showing their roots in the pink sky, a clean cut lawn like a golf green courses, no more Time Square. 

This is a dream and I know it. Now it's a lucid dream. I don't have to find Tyrell anymore, now that he's standing in front of me.

This is warm. Tyrell is hugging me. How can I let that happen? Or I made him do that?

I can feel this emptiness inside me, like all the organs in my body are disappeared, just like Time Square.

\-------

This is my room and I'm waking up, at least Qwerty is supposed to be real.


	5. Safe Person

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mr. Robot happens

I'm not on Facebook, as I told everyone, but you should not expect me to have no other account in any social. I've been on someone's dashboard and reply somebody's comment. Before I made you, my imaginary friend, I used to have pen friends. We wrote bunch of emails to each other and we've tons of chat logs but no one ever satisfied me. They were just not right. The dialogue I was seeking didn't happen. So I stopped. At that time I still didn't know what personality or interaction I was seeking. I just did everything I could to stop the melancholy. I didn't found those friends I knew from their avatar boring they just didn't give me the right words.

It was sometimes after I stopped contacting friends (both internet and irl), I started to see him. At first I didn't realize I was seeing dad. I saw him in a crowd, I saw him across the street, though he had never talked to me at that time and I thought he was just some guy in the neighborhood, I was too stupid to realize he had my dad's face. 

Then thing started to get weirdly comfortable when he started to talk to me. I felt calm or at least my panic attack was controllable, I felt safe. The depression never goes away but it was bearable. Life was bearable. 

I had a feeling that his existence was absurd even though I appreciated it. He was my safe person. We talked a lot, weather, neighbor's weird partner, global warming, or universe. He was the one coming up with the idea of fsociety. We had a recruitment. Sure Darlene was in it, I came back to her, she is the best. Finally I realized that I had been hallucinating him. Darlene was the biggest evidence of what I had been denied. The panic kicked in. I knew it's normal for bereaved people to have a lot of flashback but what I had was called hallucination. Darlene found out and brought me to Krista. That was the end of his first appearance and you know about the rest. I forgot everything and made you.


	6. The new morphine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I introduce you Jones, Jessica Jones

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> These two have many things in common. I just can't resist.

When you having depression you can smell pain in the air evaporated from people around you. I know a woman who has a giant cumulonimbus chasing her every step she takes. I introduce you Jones, Jessica Jones. 

Should I say I know her when I actually just stalk her from the internet? It's kind of a bad habit that I have to poke my nose in others' business, found messy thread then try to untie it. She's a good one, a PI or should I say a vigilante. People keep whispering about her abilities. No door lock (literally a metal door lock) could prevent her to get into your darkest secret. Sometimes I found a piece of information and I just send it to her instead of police because not ever shit those stupid cops could solve. I could even say I'm a fan of her works. Lately her life looks like shit. I'm trying to find out what happen. What kind of abilities that overpowered her strong body and soul?

\----

I found him. Kilgrave. This guy is nuts. She seems to have 99 problems that really can bother her and he is the cause of everyone of them. I'm figuring how to deal with him. Solving problems without facing each other is my thing. I should be the one to do this. 

I've acknowledged that his weak spot is that surgical drugs. So I ordered Sufentanil in the amount that can knockout an elephant 20 times from Shayla and send it to her. I have to admit that Vera got all the credit. I'm getting more and more confidence. I could help her end this. 

Helping her becomes my ritual of doing therapy. People might do good things because they wanna go to heaven or shit but I help her for myself. Helping her is the new morphine.


End file.
